High-Functioning Anxiety: Recognising the Signs Beneath the Surface Calm
Signs and Symptoms to Recognise
If you’ve ever felt like you’re buzzing beneath a calm surface, you’re not alone. High-functioning anxiety doesn’t look the same as the “classic” anxiety seen in movies or on TV. In fact, many people with high-functioning anxiety in Australia are known for their reliability, efficiency, and drive—even while quietly wrestling with worry, tension, and self-doubt that rarely takes a break.
Over-preparing and perfectionism: You might find yourself triple-checking your work, preparing for every ‘what if’, or refusing to present anything that isn’t flawless.
Chronic self-doubt: Even after achieving something, it’s common to question whether you’ve done enough, or whether it was just good luck.
People-pleasing: Saying ‘yes’ when you want to say ‘no’, or going out of your way to avoid disappointing others, even at the cost of your own needs.
Difficulty relaxing: Relaxation can feel almost uncomfortable, as if downtime is wasted time.
Fear-driven overwork: Pushing yourself to excel, not necessarily out of passion, but from a sense of dread about failing or letting someone down.
Physical stress symptoms: Sleep disruption, irritability, headaches, and general exhaustion are all too common side effects.
Importantly, it’s the sum of these parts—always ‘coping’ but never truly calm, excelling yet feeling on edge—that typifies high-functioning anxiety. The outward signs might just look like ambition or conscientiousness, especially in a culture that prizes resilience and hard work. Yet, if you find yourself ticking several of these boxes, or recognising them in a loved one, it may be worth pausing to check in. These symptoms, while often hidden behind a capable façade, are just as valid as any other anxiety—and are worthy of awareness and gentle care (Bourne, 2020; NAMI, 2022).
The Impact on Wellbeing — When Calm Hides the Strain
Mental, Physical, and Social Effects of High-Functioning Anxiety
On the surface, high-functioning anxiety can look a bit like high-achieving enthusiasm — the reliable co-worker, the always-prepared friend, the person who seems to juggle everything without breaking a sweat. But beneath this smooth façade, the impact on overall wellbeing can run surprisingly deep. It's not just nerves; it's a constant undertow that shapes how a person thinks, feels, and connects to others.
Sleep Disruption: The racing mind doesn't always clock off at bedtime. People with high-functioning anxiety often find themselves tossing and turning, replaying conversations or mentally drafting tomorrow’s to-do list. According to Sleep Health Foundation Australia, chronic sleep issues can lower resilience and sap motivation — feeding back into the anxiety cycle.
Physical Symptoms: Headaches, muscle tension, jaw clenching, and even digestive discomfort (hello, upset stomach before meetings!) are common. These are classic signs that the body’s stress response is always on standby, even if outwardly things seem fine.
Irritability and Mood: The persistent hum of anxiety can wear down patience. People may feel easily frustrated or overly reactive to little things. It’s not personal, but it can be hard for partners, kids, or friends to understand the sudden brittle snap from someone usually so steady.
Strained Relationships: High-functioning anxiety often means never wanting to let anyone down, which leads to overcommitting. Resentment can silently build up, or loved ones may feel pushed away by perfectionism or busyness. The result? Connections can quietly fray at the edges.
Overall Life Satisfaction: Even when life looks ‘successful’, satisfaction and real joy can lag behind. Many people say they feel like they’re living on autopilot — always doing, rarely being truly present or relaxed enough to soak up the good moments.
High-functioning anxiety may allow someone to get through the day, but it can quietly rob a person of ease and contentment. And just because something is invisible to others doesn’t mean it isn’t real or significant.
Practical Strategies for Support and Self-Care
Taming high-functioning anxiety doesn’t mean getting rid of drive or ambition — it’s about rooting daily life in better habits, boundaries, and a new kind of self-respect. Here are some strategies grounded in evidence and real-life experience:
Set Boundaries at Work and Home: Create clear guidelines for your workday — log off at a set time, take lunch away from your desk, and let emails wait until tomorrow. In Australian workplaces, the right to disconnect is increasingly recognised (Fair Work Ombudsman), making it easier to draw a healthy line.
Schedule Restorative Breaks: Don’t just power through. Short walks, proper smoko breaks, or a quiet cuppa can help reset your stress levels and actually improve focus. Use your calendar to book breaks — and treat them as non-negotiable.
Practice Assertive Communication: Learning to say ‘no’ without guilt is powerful. Try scripts like, “I appreciate you thinking of me, but I’m already at capacity,” or, “I need to prioritise my health right now.” Assertiveness training has been shown to lower ongoing anxiety and improve relationships (Beyond Blue).
Relaxation Techniques: Mindfulness and grounding practices shift the focus from relentless mental chatter to the present moment. Even something as simple as deep breathing or focusing on the sensations of your feet on the ground can gently interrupt anxious spirals. Apps like Smiling Mind — an Aussie favourite — are a good starting point (Smiling Mind).
Nurture Supportive Relationships: Make space for connection: a regular catch-up with friends, a supportive group, or community sport. Social support increases resilience against stress and reminds us that we aren’t alone in our struggles.
These strategies aren’t magic fixes, but they can help dial down internal pressure and make daily life just that little bit softer.
Encouragement to Seek Professional Help
This is the bit a lot of people with high-functioning anxiety need to hear: you don’t have to wait until things fall apart before reaching out for support. Getting by doesn’t mean you aren’t struggling.
High-functioning anxiety is real and worthy of attention. The fact that you’re still performing at work, looking after your family, or keeping up appearances does not make your distress any less valid or deserving of care. In fact, keeping up that pace without support can quietly wear you down over time.
Seeing a psychologist or counsellor isn’t just for crisis points — it’s a practical way to build coping tools, unwind old patterns, and find a kinder approach to yourself.
Many Australians, especially those in professional or caregiving roles, benefit immensely from therapy to manage high-functioning anxiety (Beyond Blue).
Seeking help can lead to deeper calm and a healthier balance — one where you don’t have to sacrifice all your energy, sleep, or relationships just to get by.
If this resonates, know that reaching out is a sign of courage and self-awareness, not weakness. Life’s too short to live in a state of quiet overwhelm. Help is available, and it’s okay to take that next step for your own wellbeing.
Conclusion: Honouring Your Wellbeing
Living with high-functioning anxiety can feel a bit like treading water—always moving, seldom sinking, but hardly ever feeling afloat. Perhaps you recognise the pressure to ‘keep it together’ despite your internal struggles, or maybe you’ve noticed the cost of constant striving on your sleep, mood, or relationships. This journey is real, and so are your experiences, even if you’re outwardly mostly ‘fine’.
High-functioning anxiety is valid—its signs are often hidden, but it impacts both mind and body.
Self-care matters—taking breaks, setting boundaries, and practising self-kindness can make a world of difference.
Your mental health deserves priority—reflection and support aren’t luxuries, they’re essentials for finding lasting peace.
Seeking help is a strength—connecting with professionals or trusted supports can offer fresh tools and genuine relief.
Remember, wellbeing isn’t measured by how much you achieve, but by how you feel beneath the surface. Reflect on what balance truly means for you, and know that it’s not only okay—but necessary—to pause, ask for help, and honour your own needs along the way. In Australia, where “she’ll be right” often hides discomfort, it’s more important than ever to check in with yourself and seek out spaces where your mental health is respected and nurtured. Your wellbeing is worth it (Murphy, 2020; Neff & Germer, 2020).
